Growing Pains

I keep the circle small and tight… though with this post it significantly opens.

I’ve been in Scotland for twenty days now and I’ve taken to it like a fish to land. Flailing. Thrashing. Then lying still as I slowly suffocate.

Few know of the roller coaster journey I am weathering. But the few who do, have been absolutely fantastic at championing me through it.

I knew this would be difficult for me. Still, I felt the call to be HERE… right NOW… doing THIS.

Each day I talk myself off a metaphorical ledge and as I do so, I near constantly wonder why I am putting myself through this.

A few nights ago, a new friend of mine was sharing with me from a book she loves. With little insight or knowledge into my emotional state, she quoted from “The Art of Travel” by Alain de Botton.

“It is not necessarily at home that we best encounter our true selves. The furniture insists that we cannot change because it does not; the domestic setting keeps us tethered to the person we are in ordinary life, who may not be who we essentially are.”

This notion has been bouncing around my head for a few days. I cannot help but wonder what my Maker knows about me that I do not. Though the answer is simple- everything, all things, ‘things to come’ things – perhaps, I will find the daily pep talk a bit simpler.

Attempting to open my mind, I may take comfort in the fact that I am being molded, though painfully, into the person I am supposed to be… rather than the person I have been.