On Friendship, Patriotism, Marriage, & Religion

Everyone has priorities in any given arena of life. Here follows some understanding of me.

When it comes to my life, my loved ones come first. Once I love you, I try to do pretty much anything for you even at my expense. I have suffered at this paradigm. I have been taken advantage of and used. Yet I have experienced many more sweet moments of service, sacrifice, and much satisfaction.

When it comes to my physical needs, sleep trumps everything. I find most of the populace to be of the same mind. Leaving the rest to choose between the appetites of food or sex. Though this claim surprises me a little as I’ve seen the latter two rejected many times in the presence of exhaustion.

I was reminded again last weekend not everyone feels this way when my roommate woke me up in the middle of a nap. The reason was insignificant because few reasons, short of death, in the world are good enough to rouse me from my dreams.

When it comes to attributes of character, loyalty is my number one priority. Anyone who knows me knows this about me.

So if you think I’m a little surprised to learn others don’t regard sleep with as much importance as I do, then you should know I’m flabbergasted at the lack of loyalty in the world.

Because at the very least, shouldn’t friends place their inner circle before those outside of their circle?

Isn’t treason considered the utmost in treachery?

Don’t we expect fidelity in marriage?

And was there ever a true disciple who wasn’t loyal to his master?

Yet we live in a day and age where allegiance to religion is subject to trend. Where allegiance to country is whimsical. And if we can’t find allegiance within us for a greater cause, it’s no surprise we struggle to find it among us individually.

Still I argue for the importance of loyalty.

James Luceno recorded, “it all comes down to serving the ones who are fighting along side you, watching your back, putting a weapon in your hand when you need it most. Loyalty.”

I can’t help but notice the brunt of failure in our society derives from our personal relationships. We are excellent businessmen. We produce creative masterpieces. We have logged amazing scientific achievements.

Nonetheless, we fifty percent fail personally. Fail at connecting to another. Fail at making ourselves vulnerable to another. Fail at seeing another’s needs before ours. Definitively, we fail at loyalty to each other. Instead of seeing ‘others first’, we see ‘me first.’

As my relationships grow more intimate, the only thing I really have to give is myself. I am awed as my love for someone swells; my natural concern for me diminishes and my concern for the other increases. The only thing better than my accomplishments are your accomplishments. And the only things which hurt worse than my failures are your struggles.

Also, as developed relationships lend themselves to intimacy, and intimacy is giving of yourself if not your whole self whom you reserve from others, then would loyalty not only be acquainted with intimacy but even a definition of it? A mark of devotion? An endowment of self which exceeds things of monetary value and other worldly gifts?

I believe most people would consider themselves loyal. Again, I warn loyalty to self is not loyalty in character. It is selfishness and the very description of loyalty denotes selflessness. I know it will take more than thousands of years to divide ourselves from that inner paradigm which has been implanted so strongly within us.

Still fundamentally, I’m taking my cue from deity on this. One of the things most religions have in common across the board (besides prayer) is the nature of a jealous God. One who expects our full attention. Our full compliance. Our full attachment. Our full commitment.

So if this is the ultimate relationship I am cultivating, and I’m looking to the Master to show me the way, and His way for His and my optimum connection requires my essential loyalty, then you can bet I’m going to pattern my other dear relationships in a similar fashion.

Subsequently at the end of the day, I think you have your strategy for a successful marriage, lengthy joyful friendships, and even a reverenced appropriate response to country and government.

Find something and practice being loyal to it. These are just my thoughts.