A Forced Surrendering

I sat in the doctor’s office with tears in my eyes. It was one of the few times in my life I was really scared. I had no idea what to think because I just couldn’t come up with any explanation which made sense except I had AIDS.

I didn’t honestly think I had AIDS. I just knew I had something which left me without an immune system. THAT scared me.

A week ago Saturday I noticed it was a little difficult waking up in the morning but didn’t think anything of it because I had no pressing engagement to show me just how exhausted my body had been.

Things turned super strange when I went to Salt Lake to do some shopping with a friend. I almost fell asleep on the 40 minute ride up as though we were doing a cross country road trip, 800 miles into it.

Even then, I chalked it up to having eaten nothing and being on empty. After all, I am the queen of doing this as I frequently pull many long hour days without stopping to eat. (I don’t need a lecture. I’ve been told many times how bad this is for anyone’s body.)

So after three to four hours of walking around perusing Nordstrom’s Rack (hella hot pair of black trousers) and DWS (loved all the shoes so much, I bought none of them), I begged to be taken somewhere to eat. I was going to literally lay down and fall asleep anywhere.

We stopped and I consumed a sandwich. I felt immediately better, I thought. But as we traversed back home, it took literally 10 minutes before I thought I would pass out in the vehicle again.

I was dropped off at home, went upstairs, climbed into bed without removing one stitch and fell asleep.

I awoke confused but felt better. A friend texted me to go to a movie within minutes. I cleaned myself up and headed out. Two and a half hours later, I was home in bed completely fatigued.

Here’s the crazy part. I still wasn’t flagged to the situation… at all.

The indicator came the next morning, Easter morning. My alarm went off to get ready for my 8:30 AM church service.

And THAT’S when I thought someone with a bat had had their way with me while I slept.

I lay there contemplating skipping church due to illness, which was more than justified. Still I knew 90% of the non-regularly attending Christian world would be worshipping today.

It broke my heart to think of not going on Easter. So quite frankly some competitive side of my piety (the irony is not lost on me) ripped my being out of my bed and dressed herself.

I stumbled into church and was asleep within thirty minutes. I assure you I must have been a sight for sore eyes. I slouched passed out in comatose form apparently proving my discipleship to no one but myself.

I left after an hour and went home to, you guessed it, sleep. This is when I first realized I might have mono.

The rest of the symptoms came quickly and in blurred memory.

Monday morning was hell trying to wake for work. I had added strep throat to my illness and some sort of respiratory disease. Tuesday was the same only WORSE. I left work after a measly four hours.

Wednesday I was dead to the world. Every symptom was a trophied win as if a micro-biological Genghis Khan was conquering through me.

After Thursday’s swabbing, I was told I had the flu. THE FLU. And anyone who was following my facebook (the only thing I did while laying in bed sweating and only because I could use my Blackberry) knew I was finding out the hard way why millions of people died from such an epidemic.

I am not a baby when it comes to my sicknesses.

It is more than a week later. I’m draining. I’m healing. I’m running at 60% and I consider it a huge success. It’s been awhile since I’ve remembered how valuable good health is.