What Is It About... Certainly Not Me

I must confess, I’ve been excited to write this post for a few days.

I decided to make a goal to post on the 5th, 10th, 15th, 20th, and 25th entries of gratitude leading up to THE day of thanksgiving.

I made the goal with the intent to force myself to at least be grateful on those days having no foreknowledge I might actually be thankful on days in between. And I’m entirely excited for this one.

I am grateful for feeling blessed on days when I feel like I least deserve it.

I’m incredibly aware of my personal faults and flaws on any given day. I fall subject to many follies which beset mankind.

There are days when life is good, I’m very happy, and everything is going smoothly. On these days, I take little time to feel blessed. Then there are days when life is bad, I’m very miserable, and everything keeps getting screwed up. On these days, I take little time to feel blessed.

On the occasional day I feel blessed, it’s commonly a result of something going my way and the emotion which accompanies is a sort of giddiness. I smile. I laugh. I am… well giddy. Yet this is NOT the emotion I reference today.

There are moments in this world when you are going about your days knowing you could do better, be better.

You are indifferent to anything outside of yourself and apathetic towards yourself.

Then when you think no one is noticing, something INCREDIBLE happens to you. And you are immediately aware this is the result of nothing you’ve done and certainly nothing you’ve earned.

There is one source you know to offer up essential gratitude but the emotion is not giddiness. It is debt.

And it is a purer form of feeling blessed than anything else I know. I’m awed. I am overwhelmed. I… weep.

For THIS unpolluted, unsullied, authentic blessing which has absolutely nothing to do with me and everything to do with an altruistic Gift, I am grateful.