Any Powerful or Compelling Emotion

There have been many words and phrases used to describe me and because of the type of person I am, I’ve never really had to probe others to find out what they were.

As a gregarious person, in the beginning, that unpolished characteristic sometimes lent to social awkwardness. One can assume the words which accompanied. Cumbersome. Graceless. Even obnoxious.

Who knows when, but somewhere after inelegant and tolerable followed charismatic and additionally any spin on that word. Captivating. Magnetic. Even on occasion charming.

I’ve highlighted one personality trait of me and one alone. It doesn’t take long to realize the core make-up of any trait remains unchanged although finding an appropriate outlet to display it may get refined.

Many things others believe me to be, I am. Many things other believe me to be, I am not. So with a “big personality”, I’m always intrigued to hear which element and from what perspective I am attributed.

I have always had my favorite ingredient of me. There are reasons why it is my largest weakness and hopefully after a lifetime will become my principle strength.

Passionate.

It has been the component which has earlier had me deemed as insufferable. And I firmly believe it to be the constituent which occasionally has earned me mesmeric.

So when two nights ago one of my dear friends stopped conversing and just sat listening, I quickly heeded the flag to immediately cease and query, what?

She mumbled something about me being so passionate and what came after went blurry as I wondered how caught up I had become. My eyes must have questioned volumes as she was quick to clarify the trait as making me hypnotizing. I offered gratitude for her compliment and silently I experienced one of those personal “pat on the back” moments.

And though I love it, there are days like today when feeling so deeply is a nuisance, it seems.

When any single sensation slogs thick and slow and bottomless. When every prick of the sentiment is deliberate and intended to inflict deep-rooted scoring on my internal emotional meter.

When every song I hear is flawlessly crushing and comprehended in my core in a way it seems no other could ever grasp… unless by a fellow member of us endangered subjects of passion.

When every inner desire roars immutable and every nerve-ending is hard at work feeling it. When discipline and homeostasis are harder at work hushing it.

In these instants when my being seems satiated inside this crude container with all the searing feeling the universe offers, I’m left to ponder curse or blessing?

Then in these moments a voice speaks in my heart the comforting words of philosopher Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel. “Nothing great in the world has been accomplished without passion.”