Are There No Shoes?

About three months ago, I finally had to submit to a package of technology I've been avoiding. Unlimited Texts.

I don't mind texting. I concede to its convenience. Any time. Any place. Anywhere. The fact I had to upgrade proves this. My church texts information regarding activities. My boss texts reminders for meetings. And my friends…

However to ignore the repercussions of its existence would be irresponsible of us. It's impersonal. It takes little thought. It holds us accountable for next to nothing.

If I had a dime for every plan made over the phone and every plan broken over text, I'd be significantly wealthier.

This past year seems to have pummeled us, forcing us into a kind technology not essential for living or work. A technology which has been enslaving in our social practices and regressive in the fine art of communing.

Hereafter is simply my opinion, my experience, and my perception.

With focus on the internet, I have seen an explosion in signups on social networking sites and blogs alone. And with every click to add a new friend, to feel less isolated, we flush away kinship.

We reduce our relationships to a digital, less than 50 words, sporadic coming and going recaps. In our desire to connect, we become much less connected.

Sure we are touching base with a growing number of people. We are locating those who we temporarily lost. Yet at what cost?

Comparison and competition is thriving in this environment. The adolescent seemingly witnesses how peers are skinnier, prettier, and dating more. Women seemingly observe other wives doing it better, other mothers being more successful, and other women who are more involved and more accomplished. Or worse. Their pride supposes them the envy of others.

For me, it's merely the car I don't drive, the money I don't have, and the experiences I’m not encountering. Funny how every walk of life leaves us wanting more and feeling less. Never did anything perpetuate this feeling within humanity as the technology I have illustrated.

Where there is comparison and competition, there is enmity.

We sign on to see we haven’t been left messages or the “right ones” haven’t left us a message. We see those who sit idly on their accounts and others leaving their cyber prints all over the place offering little insight or connection rather a stamp to prove they’ve merely been there.

Additionally I could list more reasons. However it’s my final rationale which pains me the most. The lost art of communication and people relating.

When I was in high school, I had a boyfriend who furthermore was my best friend at the time. I loved talking to him. We discussed everything under the sun. We developed this practice of nighttime phone calls.

I would get done play practice at 10 or sometimes 11, come home, get ready then jump into bed while making the call. However the calls would linger well into the early mornings.

Once my mother picked up her bedside phone at 2:30AM and spoke authoritatively, “time to hang up now.” I will never forget it. I will never forget those conversations.

Work and life has been tremendously exhausting of late. Last night I decided to retire much earlier than my usual post midnight bedtime. Upon climbing into the covers, I desired a little pillow talk. Literally.

I picked up my phone and scrutinized my contacts. I found myself in a very real dilemma.

There were two types of people. People who I know and love, who might have been up for the late night phone chat but were on the opposite coast or long turned in.

The second (and this is the distressing part) were my fellow peers. Peers who I knew if I signed onto a certain networking site would all be chatting in spades. Yet peers who I deem as lacking the skills to carry on a heartfelt, authentic, unfeigned conversation. Had I called, I would have confused any one of them.

“What’s going on?”
“I just wanted to talk, that’s all.”
“What happened?”
“Nothing. Just longing to connect with someone.”
Awkward silence. Stuttering. “Oh. Well… how was your day?” And those would have been the wrong words.

The right words would have been anything which would have jumpstarted the conversation. “Well I took a test today and I’m pretty sure I bombed it b/c I never listen in class. The professor is a total bore.”

“Oh yeah. I hate that. I’m so glad I’m done school. I went to the mall because I have a $40 gift certificate knowing that I wanted a pair of shoes. And after looking for no fewer than 2 hours, I found nothing. Can you believe that? Me? The shoe hoarder of late. And when I went into Vans, a tried and trusted shoe stop for me, I was greeted by indifference to a WALL of shoes, which on any other given day I can covet up to 3 pair. Can you believe THAT?”

(Unfortunately that’s a true story of this past week, folks. The excursion. Not the fake conversation.)

These are the details of our lives which bind us together. Which are defining of our beings to one another. Which are NOT blog worthy. Which get lost in this day and age of being so digitally united while so emotionally detached.

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us…" C. Dickens

Now I'm off to hypocritically develop my friendships via comments. After all, I love giving and getting them too.