With Great Effort

To say I haven’t had any good times during 2008 would be a lie. To say 2008 has sucked for me would be an understatement.

It seems as though it’s been one thing after another. What’s worse is, I just can’t seem to weather the storm as I feel I should, even with all of this adversity experience under my belt.

I’m exhausted. I’m discouraged and dispirited. I’m frustrated and I’m downright angry. Is there no reprieve from the constant barrage of life’s assaults?

Now bear in mind, I’m not yet defeated. This is by no means intended to be a “woe is me” composition. I especially feel grateful a thousand times over for the loved ones in my life.

I spent the past weekend in the celebratory throws of a friend’s birthday which included a getaway to our very own nearby Park City. We crashed at a resort none of us could afford. We indulged in spa treatments. We ate out every meal at places ending in “grill” and containing words like “snake” and “creek” in them.

After the festivities and while we were homeward bound, as we drove down the Wasatch Back, I watched a rural lesser known Utah pass before me rather than the urban state I’ve come to be most familiar with.

The mountains’ foliage was already turning red and orange. The expanse was divided by an unspoiled azure stream. I became fixated on watching it wind its way through the yellowing meadows.

I witnessed a fisherman bundled in a long sleeved plaid flannel shirt under a pair of army green waders enjoying the tranquility of no one being around in this unpopulated nowhere.

While in the middle of happily beholding this breathtaking scene straight out of a movie, my mind caught hold upon the words, “for it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things.”

As soon as I thought it, I queried back aggressively, “but what good is the astonishing when I’m drowning in the abysmal?” I pushed the thought out of my mind until I had a minute to reason through it later that night.

I retired to bed and the air of course had a nip in it. I gathered my covers tightly around my face and took a deep breath to ponder my earlier revelation.

In the solitude of the moment, with no one to lie to and no good reason to lie to myself, I became overcome with the power of the truthfulness of the declaration which immediately moved me to tears.

I lie in bed thinking of the countless good things I longed for. Things which I have frequently taken for granted in my life. Things like family in decent proximity, a car which doesn’t break down every six months, and other stuff as simple as good health to someone with a cold.

Then last night at almost midnight, I found myself at Sundance under a full moon enjoying myself. On the fartherest back slope surrounded by nothing except a friend with an affinity towards loudly crooning Disney songs, I felt it again.

After the credit card had been cancelled and my sister in law assures me my driver’s license is on its way. “For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things.”